Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Aging as Seen Through the Cartoon....


I have always felt that those who could encapsulate a single panel in the way of an editorial cartoon are simply genius. As the Baby Boomers start retiring (and refusing to ever die) thoughts of fake dentures and Depends always come to mind but this one really cracked me up.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Woody Allen's My Next Life


I've always loved some of Woody Allen's quotes and wish I could have been there when he was doing stand up in lower Manhattan during the early 60s before he started writing for television shows and eventually made the very successful transition into making movies. Can't remember who sent this to me but still cracks me up so........on the off-chance there's someone out there who hasn't seen this I think you'll laugh some or at the very least chuckle silently inside. You might have to enlarge it some but well worth taking a few minutes out of your enormously busy schedule and give this a looksy. :)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Another Problem Caused by Deforestation


I love when something dog-related comes my way and also has a humorous message to go along with it. Such is the case with this pic sent from Frangelica here in South Lake Tahoe. Every Friday I have Becky Goodman from The Pet Network on my radio show to encourage folks to adopt. She brings in a beautiful dog (one time a cat) to the studio and talks about the need and urgency to find these animals a home. It's a great feeling when these animals find homes. The pic here just cracked me up because there's always talk to eliminate trees and nobody ever thinks about the catastrophe that would effect our canine friends. I think though it would have been funny to show a female dog off to the left squatting ya know?

Monday, March 29, 2010


Some folks who don't have a Facebook page asked if I would post a few here. Okay. Nothing really but I did enjoy watching a few classic, Sci-fi movies from the 50's over the weekend and blown away that whatever the gov't said was taken as law and no one ever seemed to dispute their findings. Now juxtapose that with today when the gov't says something it seems more like science fiction than the movies I was watching. It really seems true no matter what side of the political fence you're on. I have been convinced now for years that those entering into politics while some have a good heart the majority only want to promote their own agenda or cause and not those of the people they supposedly represent.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A letter from the producer/host of Comedy Night in San Francisco, Ronnie Schell (pictured below, left with Tommy Smothers)

Alright Howie,

I've been sitting by the phone since Monday waiting for some recognition for putting you back on the map in the San Francisco bay area with your appearance on my "comedy night" shows at SF State. Yes, you did a magnificent set both nights (ken Larson's 19 year old granddaughter thought you were the best comedian on the show) Next year, I am going for Bob Newhart, Debbie Reynolds, and Shecky Greene. how would you like full billing and another appearance on the show in 2011? well, we'll see how grateful you are, you ungrateful toad. are you reviewing us in the Tahoe Daily Tribune? And just wait until Kevin Pollak finds out you took his place and scored big after I also called him a little shitass onstage. He may come there and get you but frankly, my dear, I dont give a f@*k. Seriously, you'd did real good, Howie. You should be proud considering the biggies that you shared the bill with (and thats not even including me).

Love,

Ronnie

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

10th Annual Comedy Night @ SFSU

Love this group shot on the left (taken by Kevin Hill). From the left it's comedian Will Durst, Tim Conway, Ronnie Schell, Howie Nave, Tommy Smothers, Steve Rossi and Rich Little. How did I get to perform with this bunch? Would you believe last weekend I was asked to be part of something that I couldn't even imagine being a part of? For the past decade legendary comedian/actor Ronnie Schell has produced and hosted a virtual Who's Who form the comedy world and we're talking real comedic legends here folks. All of this to raise funds for San Francisco State University's Athletic Department that offers among other things scholarships to students who not only excel in their particular sports but also maintain an above average grade point average.Since Ronnie is an alumni of the university he has a special place in his heart for his old alma mater. Some of the past comics who have been part of this event include Don Knotts, Phyllis Diller, Shelly Berman, Shecky Greene, Bill Dana, Fred Willard, Harvey Korman, Louie Nye, Barbara McNair, Jonathan Winters, Ruth Buzzi, Tom Morey, Jo Ann Worley, Bob Sarlatte, Brian Copeland, Jayne Meadows, Tom Poston, Suzanne Pleshette,Norm Crosby, Brett Butler, Merv Griffin, Kevin Meany, Peter Marshall, Steve Landesburg, Kaye Ballard and Lorraine Newman to name but a few. On the bill the two nights performed were Tim Conway, Tommy Smothers, Rich Little, Steve Rossi, Will Durst and hosted by Ronnie Schell. My opening line the first night was, "I may not have the incredible credits that these gentlemen have but I'm the only one in color." With that I kicked into my 20 minute set and had the time of my life. Here are a few pictures I thought I would share. On the right is Rich Little doing his impression of Ronald Reagan. We were in the green room about a half hour before the show started. There were so many highlights both Friday and Saturday night. Oh yeah both shows were sold-out too and the Creative Arts theatre that they held the event in was enormous. The good news is that both the dean of the athletics department and the president of the university asked if I would ever consider coming back? Hmmmmm have to think about that one.....yes!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The Dam


This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter.

State of Pennsylvania's letter to Mr. DeVries:


SUBJECT: DEQ
File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Pu blic Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially fail ed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2007.


Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in
this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.



Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File
No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr.Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/06 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)

I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the dammed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2007? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES
& THE DAM BEAVERS

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Frank Zappa said.....


"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe."

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Flying Anytime Soon?


Have fun! I have vowed to pretty much not fly again unless absolutely necessary and even then probably wouldn't do it. By the time you make arrangements to get to the airport after checking in an hour or two (depending if the passengers are wearing underwear), going through the TSA hassles, having to hear other people bitch that their rights are being violated and ultimately lost luggage I think driving will be my main mode of transportation. I have to tell you that yes, I voted for Obama but the goings on behind the scenes and missed intelligence from our various agencies is quickly turning me into a die hard right winger when it comes to terrorism. First off NOBODY is allowed to complain when it comes to this nation's security and if it takes some profiling to assure our safety than so be it. if you don't like than find another way to travel. This country has bowed way too much to try to accommodate everyone's thin skinned behavior. Maybe it's time to dismantle the ACLU while we're at it. I think every ethnic group should be allowed to form their own airline and we'll see how many would be willing to fly Shiite Airlines or Radical Islamic Airline. Hey and if you feel violated by having to go through those security machines exposing too much of your body then lose some weight. As a comic this material is gold so long as no one is killed. I have always lambasted Nigeria because of their spam emails telling me I have millions waiting if I send them a processing fee and now I get another excuse to tease Nigeria because their terrorists like to make their crotch a bomb. Hmmm was the penis supposed to be the fuse with the butt crack the place to store the C4 explosives? And how about the American (or so called Americans) students arrested in Pakistan because they wanted to launch a jihad on the United States? Isn't that treason? Don't we just shoot these types? Granted this may sound extreme coming from someone who is supposed to be making people laugh but political correctness will kill this country....literally. And when when it comes to threats against our country there is no excuse here. Wow I guess it is true. I am sounding more and more like my dad with each passing year.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Worst Movies of 2009

Everybody talks about some of the best movies of this past year and yeah-there were a few standouts. "District 9," "The Hurt Locker," "Avatar," "Up," "Up in the Air" and "Precious: Based on the Novel PUSH by Sapphire" were some of the highlights that immediately come to mind. However there were some real bad ones too. I usually wait until my annual 'Top 10 Worst Movies' article comes out this Friday but well...couldn't wait, had to share. This is an annual event and believe me it was difficult holding it to a ten-movie limit. That’s why I have a Dishonorable Mention category because there are some that just need to be recognized for their lack of accomplishment. Not only did I lose a total of 180 hours (that I’ll never get back) of watching horrible movies this past year but also knowing in advance a movie was going to be un-watchable and still be objective. Some movies you already know are going to suck hard just by the actors in it or who wrote it. After years of doing this kind of thing trust me you get like a built-in ‘bad movie’ scent that tries to warn you in advance not to enter the theater. Sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised especially when I movie is so bad it becomes like this midnight cult type of flick sort of like watching an Ed Wood movie. Just like in years past the only redeeming reward I get is in addition to warning you not to watch these but also rename these as to what they should have been called. Here’s to hoping that 2010 will give us a much better year and if not I may have to expand my category.

Howie’s Annual Top 10 Worst Movies of 2009


1) All About Steve (should have been titled Sandra’s Tax Write Off, Speed 3 or Erases Any Gains made from The Blind Side)
This may take top honors at The Razzies in just about every category. Sandra Bullock had a food role in ’09 with “The Blind Side” (and so-so one in “The Proposal”) so hopefully the Academy will overlook this mess of a plot that gives comedy a bad name. The movie is disturbing and a reminder that even women no matter how hot they are sometimes requires a restraining order. She also gives those who enjoy playing crossword puzzles a bad name.

2) Bride Wars (should have been titled Holy Whores or Give Grooms a Break)
Just like financial institutions such as AIG or Bank of America getting bonuses with taxpayer money while the rest of us suffer releasing “Bride Wars” was in bad taste showing how inconsiderate the studio heads can be considering the economic year we just had. And just like 2009’s DOW Industrial Average and massive foreclosures this movie too should have been scrapped before it was even released. When you consider that this was the first big-budgeted studio movie released in 2009 at about the same time the stimulus money was being released by Washington this movie could have easily been a good contender for a bailout. Starring Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson (who also co-produced) I’m beginning to think that any movie with Hudson in it is best saved for DVD hopefully with special features to show why someone gave the green light for this movie to be made in the first place. I guess “Fool’s Gold” wasn’t embarrassing enough for Hudson she had to achieve her goal of one that was worst and she succeeded. Owen (Wilson) if you’re reading this it’s not worth taking your life over Kate Hudson okay? At the rate she’s going her career will be killed off shortly (although taking a supporting role in “Nine” may save her).

3) Pink Panther 2 (should have been titled Stinks Like #2 or Why Was There a Pink Panther #1?)
Why do they have to remake a Peter Sellers classic? Does anyone out there REALLY believe they can top him? And a sequel? Wasn't it bad enough the first time out in 2006 that Steve Martin (who greatly admired Sellers) would remake his movie? It just proves that if the receipts warrant it (and Steve got paid on the back end) then why not I guess? I mean here he is co-hosting this year’s Oscars (with Alec Baldwin) and he’ll have plenty to joke about just from being in this flick! I mean c’mon Steve even your French accent is horrid and did you ever hope to be a better Inspector Clouseau than Peter Sellers? That would be like calling Dane Cook a wild and crazy guy.

4) Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (should have been titled Transparent Now, Death Warmed Over or Why I Became Gay Instead)
Just when you thought remakes were a cheap way to make a buck from the land of little original imagination comes a movie based on (of all things) Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. Is it just me or does anyone see a pattern here of movies that aren’t funny, based on remakes and making the top ten worst movies of 2009? Hmmmm. Matthew McConaughey (who also appeared with “Bride Wars” co-star Kate Hudson in “Fool’s Gold”) must re-evaluate his movie making decision process unless he wants to be labeled as the actor to make multiple unfunny movies guy. It’s rather ironic that he plays the guy who badmouths anyone wanting to get married (including his younger brother (Breckin Meyer) who is about to tie the knot and Kate Hudson is in a movie about two girlfriends who basically try to out do each other with their nuptials and here they both are in my worst movie selection! Completing the cast we get the respected Michael Douglas playing McConaughey’s uncle Wayne (who is pretty much an older version of his nephew) who reminded him that playing the field was always the only way to go. Too bad they just didn’t get together to do another “Romancing the Stone” or something instead. Dickens is still rolling around in his crypt.


5) Did You Hear About the Morgans? (should have been titled Did You Hear How Bad This Movie Is? or Sex And the City Gone Bad in the Country)
Yet another romantic comedy that just went south or in this case relocated to the rugged north via Wyoming. With a cast that includes Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker and requisite country backwoods types Sam Elliot, Mary Steenburgen and Wilford Brimley (hello typecasting) “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” centers around a familiar story of rich city couple Meryl and Paul Morgan (Parker, Grant) who have a great life but a crappy marriage. What could possibly get them back into that loving spirit? I know how about witnessing a murder and then having a contract out on their lives? And then let’s relocate them ala the Witness Protection Program where they can see real wildlife? Hmmm city folk transposed into the rugged wilderness where they see real wildlife for the first time and no shopping outlets? I think the television show back in the 60s, “Green Acres” sort of covered this territory. Oh sure there are more computer gadgets and bigger mountains but the jokes here were not only way predictable but must have been written by that guy that played the banjo in “Deliverance.” Yee haw everybody!

6) I Hate Valentine’s Day (should have been titled I Hated This Movie or Guess My Big Fat Greek Wedding Was a Fluke)
Nia Vardalos and John Corbett team up once again hoping to rekindle some of that “Greek Wedding” magic. Oops. Just like her ill-fated TV show based on “Greek Wedding” that sank faster than an AIG popularity poll not a good idea Here we get not only the ultimate ‘chick flick’ designed to turn off any hope for guys to maybe change their opinion but yet another excuse to rent sci-fi flicks continuously instead of watching how alienated this movie treats the male population. Nia plays Genevieve Gernier who owns a flower shop and Corbett plays Greg Gatlin whose restaurant is nearby. Genevieve and her gal pals have this ‘five dates only’ rule when it comes to dating limiting them to five dates with a man to avoid a relationship. Yawn. Hey Nia I have a ‘five movie only’ rule which means when you come out with one more movie (your “Connie and Carla” & “My Life in Ruins” was pretty pathetic girl) I get to walk out on it okay?


7) Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (should have been titled The Chinese Urban Legend on How to Vomit or Some Ideas Are Just Best Left at the Video Game Level)
Further proof that the economy has stalled is this movie. Can you bailout bad writing and lack of any originality? I still can’t believe that a studio bankrolled this. I would have loved to have been at that pitch meeting. “Okay studio heads our demographics show that prepubescent boys love warriors with special powers and making a movie based on this video game would mean at the very least we would get our investment back. Oh sure we’ll lose any integrity that we have but let’s look at the bottom line okay? Even if it does tank at the box office (it did) we can recoup our losses in the DVD rentals/sales plus think of the free added publicity we’ll get when we’re nominated for a Razzie for in the Worst Everything category!” Sigh…..


8) Miss March (should have been titled Missed the Point or Even a Hot Bod Can’t Save this Month)
Even with the very attractive Raquel Alessi “Miss March” really reflects the guys who wrote and directed this. I don’t think they’ve still scored so why not write a movie about their experience? Co-directed and co-written by the inept team of Zach Cregger and Trevor Moore the story centers around Eugene (Zach Cregger) who in high school is set to have sex with his virgin (still? In high school?) girlfriend, Cindy (Alessi) but an unfortunate accident leaves him in a coma for four years. He wakes up only to find that his former sweetheart has made centerfold in Playboy Magazine (yes Hugh Hefner appears). Roadtrip to see if she’ll deliver the goods awaits! Unfortunately for the rest of us we’re still in a coma from watching this.



9) The Trouble with Romance (should have been titled The Trouble with this Movie is the Script or Some Couples Need to be Taken off Suicide Watch)
Right off the bat this is a cheap (or tries to be) knock-off of a Neil Simon story. While ensemble pieces are always more interesting to be a part this movie ruins that joy. Usually if one storyline is weak you have several others to prop the movie up but in this case all four couples in this movie are boring and nobody cares about them or their problems. Oh sure they all have some form of dysfunctional behavior but don’t we all? The actors here play it to the extreme hoping that the occasional shock value will create a funnier situation but all it does it make you wish this was a ten-minute short instead of a feature length piece of rubbish. I think in part the idea that this was written by three writers (Gene Rhee, Sharri Hefner, Mike Su) is part of the reason. It’s almost as if they were trying to out do one another showing whose life was screwed up the most. Well, they should all be proud that they made my highly coveted annual list so we’re all winners (or losers in this case).


10) Land of the Lost (should have been titled Land of Misdirection, Lost Without a Plot or What Happened to Elf?)
Memo to Will Ferrell: Will what happened? Usually the unexpected, often improvised sketches and you looking perplexed about it all works and is very funny. Sigh…..This time out your movie’s title lived up to the rest of this body of work. It was bad enough paying homage to yet another television show from the last century and turning it into a movie but did you have to improvise the entire script? There’s barely enough humor here to post on your ‘Funny or Die’ site let alone to make an entire movie. Maybe because you weren’t involved in the writing this movie just sucked? Hope 2010 is funnier for you. I need to go now and dust off my copy of “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” and try to see if I can recapture the Will Ferrell I remember who was hilarious.

Dishonorable Mention:

G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra
Friday the 13th (2009)
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Whiteout

Friday, December 25, 2009


Dear Santa,

This year you took my favorite singer, MICHAEL JACKSON, my favorite actor, PATRICK SWAYZE and my favorite actress FARRAH FAWCETT.

Let me remind you that my favorite politician is MAHMOUD AHMEDINEJAD.

Please don’t forget!!! Thank you so much…

Love,

Howie

PS-thanks for getting Sean back from that Grinch of a family in Brazil too.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Happy Hanukkah

As we wind down the Festival of Lights it's been a memorable one for my peeps this year. Granted we could use a few more Hanukkah songs (Adam Sandler can only compose so many) but all in all it's been nice elevating the Jewish holiday and letting Jewish kids feel that's it's okay not having a Christmas tree. Oh sure I wish the oil would have burned for at least another week but hey-the Menorah can only hold so many candles. Hanukkah ends on the 19th of this month. For those celebrating Kwanzaa it's a whole different time-after Christmas from the 26th through January 1st. When I asked my black comic friends if they celebrated Kwanzaa they told me that they really didn't know too much about it. Unlike Christmas and Kwanzaa though Hanukkah's dates change year to year proving that we Jews can't seem to agree on the same date in December. Sometimes animals carry holiday markings on their coats such as the zebra here who seems to b sporting a Menorah on his exterior and who obviously is proud of his Jewish heritage.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Banking Execs Get Coal in Their Stockings This Year

Everyone knows that the banks have been raising their credit card rates to the tune of 30% in some cases! Everyone also knows that the taxpayers have been carrying these banks through bailout money and this is how they repay us? I don't know why they don't just release all of the detainees down in Guantanamo Bay and replace them with the executives who decide these policies. I think maybe it's time that some of these decision makers are exposed. I'm not suggesting they be shot like right wing fanatics bent on killing abortion doctors but there must be a way to turn the tide back toward the consumer. Meanwhile the economy continues to sputter back into full throttle but like sugar in the tank banking pricks continue to stall the recovery through their greedy behavior. Here's a list explaining how crappy the economy still is hoping that this eases some of the pain.

HOW BAD IS THE ECONOMY?

1. The economy is so bad... That I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. The economy is so bad... I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

3. The economy is so bad... That CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

4. The economy is so bad... If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

5. The economy is so bad... Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

6. The economy is so bad... McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

7. The economy is so bad..... Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

8. The economy is so bad... A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

9. The economy is so bad... Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

10. The economy is so bad... Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.

11. The economy is so bad... The Mafia is laying off judges.

12. The economy is so bad... Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Snow!

Tahoe's lifeblood arrived this week with more to follow. Everyone here is in anticipation mode hoping that the white stuff turns into green stuff over this holiday season bringing tons of skiers, snowboarders and people who would like to literally have a white Christmas. It's been freezing this week in the morning with temps as low as -11 down at the radio station but no complaints.
We needed it and still need more of it. As the Global Warming conference continues overseas I'm hoping that things can be reversed somewhat so the polar bears have a home and not some nugget of ice that is turned into a boogy board or something smaller. Maybe they could relocate here to Tahoe as it has been pretty cold but not too sure how the black bears would react. I just hope we get a real good winter up here and that lots of folks decide to spend the holidays up here. Hey, even if you're not religious or atheist you could still find your own non-denominational house of worship in the mountains and on the slopes. Couldn't hurt....

Monday, November 30, 2009

Party Crashers & other 15 minutes of Fame....

If the Secret Service isn't feeling pissed (still more than ever) you know someone in a government agency is going to get the last laugh. Can you say IRS audit, background dirt or a smog check when they don't need one? If Andy Warhol were alive today he would be beside himself. I still think the parents of Balloon Boy if they really want a Reality television show should be tethered from a balloon while cameras are attached to film the event and when they eventually fall from the balloon they'll get their fifteen minutes depending how long it takes to fall from the balloon. The party crashers have given terrorists a new way to get access to the president and his inner circle. All they need to do is say that they're part of a new Reality TV show and have cameras from Al Jazeera TV follow them into any high risk area for easy access. As expected FOX News was all over this looking for any reason (as usual) to make Obama look bad. They even had the former social director from the Bush Administration commenting that no one ever crashed one of their White House parties. Yeah, that's because those in attendance were probably trying to sneak out....(top cartoon by Rob Rogers bottom by Dave Granlund)

Friday, October 23, 2009

Soupy Sales :(

When I arrived at the radio station this morning I had heard on the CBS News at the top of the hour that legendary comedian Soupy Sales had passed away at the age of 83. I was bummed. I mean, I knew he was not doing too well but it still takes your breath away some when you hear about the passing of someone who you actually got to know. Long before I started working for The Improv I was the host and manager for a comedy club in Reno called Just For Laughs. They would rotate the managers/comics every few months and I was fortunate that during my watch Soupy Sales was booked for an entire week! I was so jazzed and nervous both at the same time being able to work with such an iconic figure. In addition to being the host the week he was here I was also assigned to be with him when we would do radio and TV to promote his week at the comedy club. The hotel gave us access to a limo and I took Soupy to several radio and TV stations and had a blast just hanging out with him. I asked him if it would be okay to videotape him in the limo while doing the publicity so he could tell some of the more memorable stories about old Hollywood and what it was like working during the golden age of comedy and when television was just starting to emerge as a force for the 'live' comedic variety shows. Soupy had one of the most groundbreaking shows on television and of course most still remember him for his pie throwing antics.He gave me several videos of his TV show and while we were waiting for lunch one day started drawing stick figures of him throwing pies at other stick figures and then just gave them to me. I have so many fond memories and was also fortunate to meet his wife, Trudy who was also a New York City Music Radio Hall Rockette. Not long after his week at Just For Laughs I was at San Jose's Cinequest Film Festival reviewing some movies and met Christopher Cage (Nicolaus Cage's brother) and when he found out I had this video of Soupy wanted to know if I would sell it to him. The offer was nice buty I had promised Soupy I wouldn't it so I passed. It's weird when you actually know people you grew up only knowing on TV and then one day get to work with them professionally. Surreal. I miss Soupy and will always remember those cool stories of his both on and off stage.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Poor Disney....

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Disney's famed animation department has been churning out classics for the past 80 years. For the most part it appeared that nobody complained about the color or ethnicity of Disney's cartoon characters because Disney was white and was animating from his point of view. For the most part later on the complaint was that little girls shouldn't believe in a Prince Charming on a white horse to make their life complete so Disney started giving us strong female characters in the way of Mulan and Pocahontas. As I recall I don't remember too many Asians raising a ruckus over Mulan being an empowered animated woman who leads soldiers into battle against the Huns (sorry if I pissed off the Hun population). Oh sure she gets away with it at first disguised as a guy but in the end is rewarded for her independence and elevating women above second class citizens.Things got dicey when Pocahontas was drawn. First off she was not portrayed in a historically accurate fashion because she was a cartoon. A cartoon folks. Some Indians were ticked off because she was drawn too attractive and and fell for a white guy! Oh the humanity! When she meets and falls in love with John Smith in the forest, she is forced to keep the encounter secret because she needs her father's approval to accepted among her people. It's a little bit more complicated but basically her secrecy indirectly causes the death of Kocoum at the hands of one of Smith's friends causing her tribe and the white man to the brink of war. Ultimately she does save her people only because she has put them in danger and still needs father's praise to allow her to finally receive the recognition that she deserves from her tribe, Fast forward to 2006, when Disney first announced they were bringing a black princess to the big screen in the way of "The Princess and the Frog."But even the best laid plans can piss off the extremes. First off the princess was a maid for a white family so that didn't fly very well so Disney made her a chef. Then it was pointed out that her name was Maddy which sounded too close to Al Jolsen's "Mammy" so she was renamed Tiana. After kissing the proverbial frog we soon learned that Tiana's prince would not be black but someone with the Indian name Naveen. So who do you piss off? A black woman going with an interracial lover to reflect mixed relationships or one that is more pure sticking to one's own color? A lot of people wanted her to remain with a black guy but wouldn't that be a slap against someone who is currently in love with someone not of the same color as their lover? Why not make her a lesbian? A transparent lesbian combining bisexual, transgender maybe a lipstick with a butch cut to appease as many in that classification as possible? No? Who goes to see these Disney animated movies anyway with the idea of getting annoyed? Maybe Tyler Perry should start animating characters to take some of the heat off Disney? Spike Lee where are you? All I know is that you can never please everybody. Sort of like comedy there's always someone who will be offended. I predict in the future that just like gay, black, Hispanic or Asian night for comedy showcases the same will apply to theaters to see an animated movie that matches one's ethnicity. Oh wait there will be those complaining that one ethnic group got the primo Friday or Saturday night accusing the white man of putting Black Animation Night on a Monday. Next we'll be changing the days of the week so that every other day is a Friday and then Saturday thereby making everyone happy. What about a Mutt Night or an "I Don't Give a F**k Night" because some of us actually have a life? Too soon?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Sarah Palin just finished Speaking to Investors in Hong Kong

Good for her I say! Surprised? Apparently someone snuck a in a cell and recorded her 90 minute speech just hours ago (no media was allowed in) and she stated that she speaking as “someone from Main Street U.S.A.” She did comment about our government and how bloated it has become since the Democrats took over. Yeah that was predictable and maybe had she remained in office as governor of Alaska she would have a little credibility. She didn’t tone down the home spun, little house on the prairie rhetoric blaming the Federal Reserve for being the watch dog to the financial system saying, “The words ‘fox’ and ‘henhouse’ come to mind.” I can only imagine that she wants the world to know (or at least the US of A) that she is capable of understanding foreign policy. I don’t know if she blasted the ‘liberal media’ but probably wanted to but not knowing the Hong Kong equivalent probably stopped her from saying so the last minute. As usual she didn’t take any questions from the media after her speech probably because she feared being taken of context or saying something that wasn’t written down for her in advance. Only invited guests employees from CLSA (the brokerage house that sponsored the event) were allowed inside to hear the speech. No idea if she was paid or not for speaking but I’m sure they at least picked up the airfare. (photo by Al Grillo from the AP)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Indian Summer

Greetings aficionados of all things seasonal. As summer peters out giving way to yet another season I'm reminded of things that I'm not sure are politically correct or okay to still say. Some things just sound beyond ridiculous when in actuality it's okay to still say them. I'm referring to the term, "Indian summer." I grew up with that term and to my limited knowledge was always meant in a meteorological light. According to Wikipedia the generally accepted use of the term is when the weather is sunny and clear and above 21°C (70°F), and all of the leaves of the trees have turned but before the first snow has fallen. The term "Indian summer" is also used metaphorically to refer to a late blooming of something, often unexpectedly, or after it has lost relevance. Anyway since that's how I'm often referred to as I'll just continue to use the term until protesting begins for those who are stupid or misinformed (much like those attending town hall meetings on health care). Wow did the font just change color all of a sudden? Must be the same thing with the seasons I am guessing. So, don't be afraid to use the term "Indian summer" and because it's way shorter than saying "Native-American summer" and hey, for all we know could mean the New Delhi variety of Indian. I'm just sayin'. It's usually at this time of the year as Indian summer is upon us I am called by my Hebrew name, "Anointed Bear" which was given to me growing up. Am I offended? No, not really but hey-I'm open to discussion. I can always be seen on the Facebook or just send an email and we can chat further.

Monday, September 14, 2009

A Sad Passing....

I just heard a few minutes ago about the passing of actor Patrick Swayze. I had heard he was fighting cancer but didn't know how advanced it had become. I think I admired the fact that of all his credits he was able to maintain a healthy balance between work and family. He will be sorely missed. I was blessed with a rare opportunity to meet him while he was filming the movie, "Waking Up in Reno" when we had the comedy club in the then Reno Hilton. He dropped by the club (along with Billy Bob Thornton) and I just thought it was really cool they could just hang out for a bit between shooting their movie for a few laughs. My condolences to his close friends and family and a prayer out your way too.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Back to School & a Reason to Celebrate

It's another summer almost over and the kids are headed back to school. I can't imagine what it must be like these days going back to school than when I went to school. No, it's not one of those 'when I was your age we had to trek miles through the frozen tundra and they didn't have high tech snowshoes like they do today but we never complained or else it was the belt' kind of posting. But what with Swine Flu season upon the kids and the recent recovery of South Lake Tahoe's Jaycee Dugard you can bet parents are going to be very diligent when it comes to the safety of their kids more than ever. By the way on a personal note the entire basin is obviously rejoicing over the fact that it was two UC Berkeley Campus police women (and mothers which I believe was the reason for the happy ending) who cracked the case that was finally solved 18 years later. It's a daily reminder driving down Pioneer Trail andseeing the pink balloons and ribbons that mark the spot where Jaycee was kidnapped back in 1991. The calls have been coming in to my show starting last Thursday morning and haven't let up at all. The recovery process is going to be a long one but it sure is nice to have a story with a positive ending in a time where there seems to be little of it. (Special thanks to Garfield creator Jim Davis)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Why No Airline Passenger Bill of Rights?

It's time to give airline passengers a break. I understand the need for security and if taking off one's shoes off to keep a bomb from being ignited well okay. But enough is enough already. It's bad enough waiting on the tarmac and on a jumbo jet or 757 at least there are beverages (with payment of course) and a half dozen restrooms and hopefully you're not booked on a flight that has been oversold. I can sometimes see where airlines have no choice but to stay on the ground due to weather and mechanical problems but at what point does an airline have the say when passengers are in a horribly cramped environment without even a say as to an option? Continental Airlines isn't saying much for their ineptness last week when those on board flight 2816 from Houston to Minneapolis were re-routed to Rochester instead because of inclement weather. Upon landing however it turned out that the TSA had gone home which meant that the passengers couldn't clear security if they got off and left the airport. And to that the ground crew wouldn't let them get off and stay in the airport so 47 people (including babies) forced to stay aboard the plane with no food and overflowing toilets. I should say toilet as this wasn't one of those big jets with some nominal space for walking around no. I have flown these 'puddle jumpers' while working the comedy circuit and if you have to spend any more than an hour on these things you go nuts. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to spend a total of nine hours on one of there planes virtually held prisoner until the airport opened up. WTF? Oh sure Continental apologized only after some passengers were able to document the event on their phones and the media jumping all over this story. But what did the airline offer? A refund and a free ticket for a future flight! Who in their right mind would want to fly Continental anymore? The passengers can't legally do anything because in reality Continental broke no law. What they did do is break their trust with the passengers and someone with some balls should have taken the reigns and tried using common sense. Personally I would have demanded that the door be open or else say I have some type of explosive device on me. Oh sure I would have been handcuffed and taken away but the operative word here is some action would have been taken and spending time in jail would have been far superior than having to contend with screaming babies, smelly overflowing toilets and being offered one beverage as a consolation prize. The ironic thing is that after I was arrested and the other passengers were escorted off the plane the adverse publicity probably would have gotten me released with the backing of the other passengers. I hate flying to begin with so I'm sure after writing this my name will now be placed on some terror watch list. If ever there was a time to reintroduce the Passenger Bill of Rights now would be a good time. As for all of the airline executives who keep passing the buck on this manner I suggest that they all be forced to remain on one of their commuter aircraft with recordings of screaming babies 24/7 and a bathroom that not only doesn't work but filled to the brim with fresh manure. And if there is any room left put some banking execs in there too. (editorial pics: top left John Sherffius, middle right by Bob Gorrell and bottom left by Jeff Stahler)

Friday, July 31, 2009

If Animals Ruled the World

Last weekend I participated in a fundraising event to assist the South Lake Tahoe Police Department's K-9 division in getting another dog because right now they only have one dog, Duke. I know we live in a small community but to only have one dog that makes up your entire K-9 division sounded pretty sad so when I was asked if I would be part of a fundraising effort in conjunction with the American Legion I said "Yes, because it's all about the dogs." It looks like the department will get a new dog so that Duke will have some company so that is good news especially in these times. Speaking of animals my friend Caren out of Chicago is always sending me Chicago news and tidbits some of which has found its way onto my radio show or even on stage. I love these cartoons that show what it would be like to be in an animal's world and how humans would rate. Hey.....it could happen.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Cash for Clunkers (and vehicles too)

This morning before the House bolted for its August vacation from Capitol Hill it was announced that the very popular "Cash for Clunkers" government program was given a 2 billion dollar boost. Those not familiar with this positive stimulus program is an incentive to get people who have gas guzzling vehicles that aren't worth anything to 'trade' them in for a newer, hopefully more fuel efficient model. Some have mentioned that it isn't very green to be producing new vehicles but when you consider how many new models have sitting on the lots of car dealerships all across our country something was needed as a boost to encourage consumers to start buying things and at the same time getting rid of their old clunker. Sounds good to me. At least with this stimulus program nobody is going to get a bonus off the backs of taxpayers but rather reward us taxpayers for trading up. Finally something that doesn't get my credit card interest raised or a lousy banking institution that won't refinance unless I am on the brink of foreclosure. Maybe there is some balance out there?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

To All Things Superstitious (and coincidental)

I can remember not too long ago that there were people who directed their lives based on their superstitions. I have no idea where these (people and superstitions) came from but mostly one would hear about this when it was on a Friday the 13th or walking on sidewalks that if you walked on the crack you would 'break your mother's back.' Wow. Where did THAT urban gem come from? Now with the advent of not just the computer but online communication those that were once considered far and few between now flourish every second on the Internet! Oh man remember the one about Microsoft 's Bill Gates was going to send a thousand bucks to anyone who received that email about some testing of his product or ANY email/spam that started with "I usually don't read these but......(fill in your urban legend here)" explaining how easy you could make money by just 'sending this email to ten people' and then you realize that all those suckers found a home online. My favorite are the emails from Nigeria telling me that millions of dollars await me if I send over some passwords or my SS# or a check for $500 as a 'processing fee' to get my millions. For the longest time I would reply and tell them that I wasn't a citizen of this country or else I would send the required money or that even though I wasn't convicted of the murder (because they never found the body) I couldn't accept the millions being offered. A comic/friend of mine, Joel actually takes it to the next level getting these scammers (in his case the ones from Nigeria) to fly out and meet him at the airport and for a check they have to hold up an embarrassing sign saying what scumbags they are. Of course the checks aren't any good but Joel gets the satisfaction of outing his would-be Internet thieves and then posts the pics for all to see! Wow. I have to admit though I do find it interesting the tidbits that one can find on this mode of communication. For instance that did you know that today at 4:56 this afternoon the time will be 4:56 07/08/09. This is what some call a once-in-lifetime occurrence. It is breathtaking though isn't it? The latest is the Michael Jackson and events from his life intertwined with the number 7. Nancy pointed this out to me and showed me the following:

Michael Jackson signed his will on 7/7/02.
Michael Jackson's memorial was on 7/7/09 (exactly 7years after the will was signed).
Michael Jackson's two biggest hits, "Black & White" and "Billie Jean" were each #1 for 7 weeks.
Michael Jackson's three biggest albums, "Thriller," "Bad" and "Dangerous" each produced 7 top 40 hits.
Michael Jackson was the 7th of 9 children.
Michael Jackson was born in 1958 ... 19 + 58 = 77
Michael Jackson died on the 25th ... 2 + 5 = 7
Michael Jackson has 7 letters in his first and last name.

Well for all you fellow science fiction, numerologists, urban legend, end-of the-world conspiracy theorists types out there......unite!

Monday, July 6, 2009

A Sad Day for Comedians Everywhere (and an opportunity too)... along with an Open Letter to Sarah

Wow just when you thought David Letterman had (sort of) retreated from his jokes involving Alaska Governor Sarah Palin now comes word that she, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is resigning from her office at the end of this month.

A moment of silence please. :(

Okay but why? I tried to follow her press conference but it sounded unscripted and at first thought that maybe the mainstream media was to blame for giving her the talking points. What was it she said (and I'm paraphrasing here)? She didn't want to be considered a lame governor this being her last term in office so she opted to quit instead? How can you leave Sarah just because you thought you were considered a lame duck? That should have crossed your mind during your first term. The thing is that the GOP needs you right now more than ever. This is the perfect point in time NOT to leave. Your Party is in disarray and the male members (pun intended) seem to be embroiled in all sorts of scandals. Our own Governor John Ensign of Nevada confessed to getting too close with one of his staffers and was threatened by the staffer's husband of almost extortion so he had to confess in advance from something he did last year. Then of course South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford who admitted having a mistress in Argentina. I think he was just misunderstood. As I stated before he told his staff (no, not that one) that he was hiking out on the Appalachian Trail but what he really meant to say was that he was out getting some Argentinian tail. It's all about verbage sometimes. And what is it with our governors anyway? So, you see Sarah our country needs you now more than ever so take some time out to write (or get get a ghost writer at the very least) that book, do the lecture circuit and we look forward to seeing you in either the Senatorial election next year or the White House in the race come 2012. This was the first bit of news that everyone covered taking a brief time out from Michael Jackson. I know, I know the mainstream, liberal media sucks and even FOX News is being a little tough on you but in the end you will persevere and have the last laugh girlfriend! And if not we'll pick up the slack from our end and get the laughs going!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

CNN Now Stands for Celebrity News Network

What little credibility CNN had with me when it came to what is considered news finally evaporated this past week. Forget the pullout of American troops in Iraq or that the first major offensive involving thousands of U.S. Marines descending upon the Helmand River valley in Afghanistan this morning passes as news no. That takes a back seat to the latest 'news' involving the death of pop superstar Michael Jackson. I was just as shocked and saddened at the passing of one this country's premiere entertainers as the next person but wow. I mean seriously when you have CNN's 120-year-old Larry King going on night after night turning himself into the extreme definition of a fluff piece then you know it's overkill folks. Of course we all know King is a huge fan and can probably name you his Top Ten favorite Michael Jackson videos (mine is still "Black or White"as that song rocks and is an awesome video). I'm sure he even knows all the dance moves from Thriller too. It's eerie in a way that the age differential between Michael Jackson and the children he hung out with is exactly the same age difference that separates Larry King and Michael Jackson. Hmmmmm.Who's fondling who? Anderson Cooper (of AC360) had a supposed nurse on the other day who said that Michael had begged her for some drugs or a shot and then after he let her spout her story he said something to the effect like "While we can't confirm her story yet...." Too late Cooper as she already got her story across before you should have confirmed who and what her story was BEFORE you and CNN allowed her to speak over the airwaves. I guess TMZ, MTV, VH-1, E! Entertainment News, Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, BET, Showbiz Express or a host of other entertainment oriented programs isn't enough to cover the latest on the life and times of Michael Jackson no. CNN (and to a lesser extent FOX News) are dedicating their seasoned journalists to cover what is fiction or not. Okay, we get it. And guess what? I'm sure Larry King, Campbell Brown, Anderson Cooper and all of the seasoned reporters will be there at his funeral. You think CNN was in Jackson's will or something. Can't you have a CNN Twitter Network or a CNN Blog channel where all of those with 'opinions' can tweet their tears so the rest of us can just watch some real news for a change? I was getting more accuracy from the phone cells out of Iran than I'm getting from CNN in my own country. Even Barack Obama is getting less coverage. What would Walter Cronkite say? And what about CNN's David Gergen? I bet off-the-record he is sick of all this. He (and senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin) are the only real individuals worth watching on your network and David is nowhere to be seen. I'm actually reading online newspapers now where I can get a choice of what I want to find out what's important instead of having to wait for television news to get to something that matters. Health Care? California being broke and writing IOUs instead of checks? Nah what's more important is whether or not Diana Ross will get custody of Michael Jackson's kids! Ooh how can I sleep? Stay tuned....

Saturday, June 27, 2009

On a Much Lighter Note....

Isn't this a cute picture? I sent it to a rather far-to-the-right (politically-wise) friend who in turn suggested that it represented a mixed race relationship and then went on to espouse why there is conflict in the world and then continued with illegal immigration and the downfall of our moral values. Then he went on to explain that there are certain laws of nature that are supposed to not change and that God planned it that way and we are meddling and that is why there are so many problems in the world such as war, diseases, supposed Global Warming (his words), hatred, poverty and distrust over our fellow man (fellow 'person' if you reside in Berkeley). Okay. Apparently he is reading way too much into this which is fine and his opinion. That said isn't this a cute picture?

Too Much Cynicism Out There?

For as long as I can remember it was always easier to criticize than to compliment. As a comedian in today's world it is definitely easier with the former but at least we attempt to come to a conclusion with a punch line instead of just doing nothing about it. But seriously are there times you find yourself getting way too much information and it seems like the world is doing much more than just going through an environmental meltdown? I think part of the reason the planet is slowly heating up is because its occupants are also experiencing a meltdown of their own. I don't know why exactly but I am guessing it's partly because of the current status in our economy (at least here in the USA) coupled with their own fears on what really lies ahead both in their own personal lives and those directly influencing them who they rely on for answers. I think that's why those in authoritative positions fall harder (when they contradict themselves) than others thus the cynicism that comes with it. When one particular segment of the populous puts themselves in a holier-than-thou position as the barometer of everything that is pure (AKA 'Family Values,' 'Promise Keepers') and then does the opposite than they become open targets for not practicing what they supposedly are preaching and then cynicism takes place as a way to try and find an answer. As a comedian we take these nuggets of knowledge, dissect the content and then turn it around as a way to point the finger in the other direction to those who tried to tell us (me) what to do in order to be a better individual that reflected what their religion or belief system taught them. That's why it's never a good idea to pass judgement on someone else because ultimately it's going to come back and shine a rather bright spotlight on the one holding themselves up to a higher standard. More to follow....

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

In Our Lifetime.....

I received an email from a good friend who has been recovering from a kidney transplant: Max Alexander. In fact it'll be exactly one year to the day that Max 's brother, Moshe gave him a kidney so that he could regain his health. He also sent me an incredible picture taken from the Hubbell telescope showing the abyss known as outer space. Space travel is a reality but will we able to make frequent trips on a regular basis within our lifetime?Civilian space travel on a regular basis will happen probably by the first half of this century but what will the planets in our solar system have to offer? Will the Earth become so overpopulated that one day another planet or moon will have to suffice for a new home? Thoughts like this always circulate through my head and I wonder if we'll be forever confined to this one planet or will another become like a secondary lifeline complete with oceans, decent oxygen and an abundant food supply?As I look out on this full moon through my telescope and envision what it would be like to fly by the lunar surface to another world it really does make one feel extremely insignificant when compared to the cosmos. In my own brief life span we have discovered more moons on the planets Saturn and Jupiter and downsized our once 9th planet, Pluto to that of a dwarf planet. Just think all of those space maps I saved from the heady days of Apollo are now incorrect when it comes to the planetary system. I wonder if Walt Disney would have even created the animated character, Pluto knowing that one day that planet would be no more? I guess that was the start of the recession really when Pluto was demoted to dwarf planet status. There is a parallel come on. I think that's why I have always believed that something else is out there and that there is no way that humans can be the only species to occupy the vastness of space. Whatever time we have left in this life like Pluto is dwarfed when you try to comprehend the bigger picture. Some people gyrate to a religion in order to seek comfort knowing there might be something after this existence while others embrace the eastern religions of reincarnation so that one's life isn't gone forever but just recycled. I have always known that nothing is really by accident but more by design. No, I haven't taken any artificial stimulants or having a flashback to my days at Humboldt State University just observing while staring out at the trees. The moon this morning looked like a giant silver dollar sitting on the top of the Sierra mountaintops. Maybe it's a good idea to appreciate what it is I have right now at this very moment and just go from there. Is this what happens when you see into the future?