Monday, September 8, 2008

Middle Eastern Mindset

Talked with comedian Don Barnhart yesterday on what to bring over to Iraq. He pretty much said that the troops would love some fresh coffee so going to cram at least ten pounds of coffee into my backpack and hope I don't have to check it in but can carry it with me. While joking with comedian Graham Elwood (who has performed in both Iraq and Afghanistan for our military) about how safe it is over there he quipped, "Well Howie I don't think you'll have to worry about safety while on stage since every soldier over there carries there own weapon with them everywhere they go. The good news is that everyone has a gun of some caliber while watching the show. The not-so-good news is that if you suck over there everyone has a gun of some caliber while watching the show." Thanks Graham. Graham is one of my favorite friends who also just happens to be a comic. He's very spiritual and looks at life from a cool perspective. Scott Kennedy, who booked me for this overseas trip is also a very deep guy. He's been overseas some 20 times in part because he has a nephew serving in Iraq. I have a sister, Ellen who is a nurse in the Army and has been deployed to Iraq. I also have a nephew who just got his wings and will probably be deployed soon. We all have our reasons but first and foremost is entertaining and making them laugh. Speaking of which, the new material is going over pretty well at the comedy club so I'll have a good hour's worth of material and that's without the guitar. I nixed the idea of bringing the guitar over just because I would have to lug the thing everywhere be it on a commercial airline, a transport plane or Black Hawk helicopter. Getting lots of emails from people on things I could talk about and some have been useful but most well......I think it best to steer clear of political stuff while over there and just concentrate on taking one's mind off of their daily grind over there and bring some good old American everyday life experience references to the table instead. I did like this little story though that made me chuckle. Thanks Marty for sending it over.

Everyone felt sorry for the Israelis. No one else thought this weird animal stood a chance against the growling beast in the Arab camp. The bookies predicted the Arabs would win in less than a minute. The cages were opened. The Dachshund waddled toward the center of the ring.

The Arab dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog. As he got to within an inch of the Israeli dog, the Dachshund opened its jaws and swallowed the Arab beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from the killer dog's tail.

The Arabs approached the Israelis, shaking their heads in disbelief. “We do not understand,” said their leader. “Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years with the meanest, biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing machine.”
“Really?” the Israeli General replied. “For five years, we’ve had a team of Jewish plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills working to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.”

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